Another Step

In the last two months, I could have written a lot about a lot of things. I went from being unemployed, to having a job. From having a job, to having three job opportunities at once. I changed jobs after only thirty days. I had a miserable first week at my new job and questioned my life choices.

After multiple tear-filled conversations with my parents and roommates, the storm has passed and I am able to accept my current situation.

My Current Situation:

True, my new job is not the kind of challenge I was expecting. I was so discontent, I even pursued working for my old company again (that did not go over well). But, here I am. I'm a full-time glorified temp (no emphasis on 'glorified'). In case you were wondering, that is not what I went to college for. However, I am grateful for this underwhelming situation I am in because it has given me great cause to think seriously about what I truly want to do in life.

I have gotten to this place by putting one foot in front of the other. I wish I could gracefully leap over sticky situations and land in the green pastures of a satisfying career, creative brilliance and spiritual perfection. If I tried, I would most likely trip and fall on my face, causing an even less desirable situation than I am in now. So, step by step, I have arrived where I am. Have I "made it" at 23? Hardly. Am I in a better situation than I was two months ago? Absolutely. I mean, I'm paying rent, aren't I?

There was nothing rational about quitting my job this summer before having another lined up. There wasn't anything particularly smart about leaving a job where I could take on responsibility and work with people I like in order to go to a completely unknown position. But, I am thankful that God brought me here. First, I'm thankful that I am employed. And Lord have mercy on everyone who is not--I know it is a terrifying place to be. I am glad to not be dreaming about my job anymore. Even though I don't like my job, I know I will learn things that I will somehow use in the future. Finally, I am glad for the extra, circumstantial push to take my plans and my life seriously.

I am in this position because I pursued jobs that use skills I've already acquired, like typing quickly, answering phones, and making copies. This is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it is advised to go after jobs you are qualified for. But, am I not qualified to at least apply for a job in the theater or in writing or in communications? Or for grad school? My point is, I have a tendency to sell myself and my experiences short. More importantly, I sell God short.

My friend Maggie once pointed out to me that I often believe that I have reached my quota with God's grace. I think to myself, "Opes. I can't ask for that because I've been given so many other good things in life. I should be grateful for what I do have." I should indeed be grateful. But, I am also to ask of my Heavenly Father who loves me. So, I intend to practice that. I want to start asking for the improbable and encouraging others to do the same. Heck, I asked God for a job and he gave me three.

I also asked God to let me live in Paris right after college...

Thy will be done.